Home

Seconds before i breathe my last breath i notice something in the distance...Someone. Running towards me, calling out my name although it sounds like a whisper to me, i know that person is yelling at the top of....his lungs? But it's too late now, I've been struck. Wounded. Abandoned and left for dead. Laying on the grass the scenery made perfect for a romantic scene in a movie. Green flowing grass, clear blue skies, wind soft as a feather carrying the scent of a beautiful morning sunrise. The wound I've been brutally given doesn't pulse with hurt anymore, i am numb. Feeling only his presence when he comes and takes me in his arms. Seeing his face, a mixture of shock, anger, dread, and longing cross his face all at once, like fireworks, one right after the other in a long sequence eventually stopping signaling the end of the show. The end of my life. With one aware look i mouth the words 'I love you.' Dropping a note in his palm that reads:

'I'm hearing you breathing

for the last time.

A song for my heart.

But when it is quiet,

you know what it means and

please carry me home.'

'Carry You Home' By James Blunt.

Loneliness of One (part II)

pointless.

Everything seems like its out of place. Like im the only one who knows somethings changed. i dont know how to say it, how to phrase it, but i'll try,after all what do i have to loose? Nothing, not anymore. Something's changed in our friendship, i used to feel like i could talk to him about anything but now, i feel like he's pushing me away. It's almost like...he doesnt love me anymore. i'm not the one he couldnt live without anymore....i feel it. somethings changed and its major i cant let him go because i made him my everything because he fit the description he used to always be there for me. never faltered now i feel this dark empty void in my soul where he once was. i just wish he'd tell me that its over he doesnt feel a thing for me. other than friendship. Maybe then i can stop fighting for his love and give in to the dark abyss where nothing means nothing and i wont feel anything anymore. not love not friendship nothing. ill be the ant-social loaner i was before him.

i need someone to talk to...