Oops I.....Again?

Vegas, yes the biggest little city in the world. && I am going for my 21st birthday. What was supposed to be a trip with my girlie bestie friend has turned into a semi-massive outing with my girlie bestie, my co-worker bestie &&&&&!!!!!!!!!! The guy i would give anything and everything to be with again. *sigh* yeah i kno what ur thinkin 'Jess whatf is wrong wit u!' but come on it wouldnt be a HAPPY Birthday without him. Funny thing is im stoked! By the way, i am also attending his graduation. tehehe.

Heart Domination

The heart wants, what the heart wants. You can't deny it anything. As hard as you may try, you simply cannot. I think I finally won the fight though...My heart has no choice but to step down, because what it wants...is gone. He left a very long time ago. And he's never coming back. 

Can't sleep, I swear this is getting too out of hand. Thinking about him 24/7??? It's not healthy, listening to Mariah Carey, Framing Hanley, ugh NOT good. Wishing he were mine. The Worst! He goes back home tomorrow, or should i say today. Time goes by quickly when ur submitting yourself into a deep endless drunken stupor. This will soon go away....i assume. Right now i cannot feel a thing i'm numb and empty. An empty numb cold shell. Sometimes, when i'm walking down the street or at the grocery store, i swear i see him...someone thatlooks like him and my heart breaks all over. The pain is so strong, i collapse a little. Dreaming, however, doesn't compare. 

"It doesn't matter where you are,

I'll hold you again.

I wish i could hear your voice, 

Don't leave me alone in this bed."