Oops I.....Again?

Vegas, yes the biggest little city in the world. && I am going for my 21st birthday. What was supposed to be a trip with my girlie bestie friend has turned into a semi-massive outing with my girlie bestie, my co-worker bestie &&&&&!!!!!!!!!! The guy i would give anything and everything to be with again. *sigh* yeah i kno what ur thinkin 'Jess whatf is wrong wit u!' but come on it wouldnt be a HAPPY Birthday without him. Funny thing is im stoked! By the way, i am also attending his graduation. tehehe.

Heart Domination

The heart wants, what the heart wants. You can't deny it anything. As hard as you may try, you simply cannot. I think I finally won the fight though...My heart has no choice but to step down, because what it wants...is gone. He left a very long time ago. And he's never coming back. 

Can't sleep, I swear this is getting too out of hand. Thinking about him 24/7??? It's not healthy, listening to Mariah Carey, Framing Hanley, ugh NOT good. Wishing he were mine. The Worst! He goes back home tomorrow, or should i say today. Time goes by quickly when ur submitting yourself into a deep endless drunken stupor. This will soon go away....i assume. Right now i cannot feel a thing i'm numb and empty. An empty numb cold shell. Sometimes, when i'm walking down the street or at the grocery store, i swear i see him...someone thatlooks like him and my heart breaks all over. The pain is so strong, i collapse a little. Dreaming, however, doesn't compare. 

"It doesn't matter where you are,

I'll hold you again.

I wish i could hear your voice, 

Don't leave me alone in this bed."

I'm gonna say goodbye, I dont know when but i will.

Looking into the distance,
it looks like she's staring right at him.
her eyes well up with tears,
shes about to let him go.

Hugging herself,
The words right at the tip of her tounge.
Breathing him in for one last time,
she let's the words come out

'It's time i let you go...'
'you don't care about us.'
"i care more than you know'
'Then don't do this.'
'I have to'
'Your gonna regret this'
'tell me about it.'
'I'm not coming back'
'I know....'

Walking away her feet give way.
Down she falls onto the ground
His scent was her last breath
Her last breath she ever took...